Late Saturday afternoon my feet finally touched American soil, and I can't say I've been relieved and happier in quite some time. I still don't know which end is up, but I don't care. I can eat without hesitation, almost certain that I'm getting what I ask for. There are no more Customs assholes in sight, and airplane meals have no business in my mouth for atleast a few weeks.
I know I'm obsessed with aerial photos of Chicagoland, but I couldn't resist posting this wide shot, because it captures our great city, and is the exact moment I felt like unbuckling my seat belt, standing up in the aisle of plane and yelling, "FUCKING CHICAGO! WOOOHHOOOO, FUCK YEA!!!"
After seeing the homes in Seoul and Shanghai, I promise to never again complain about the uneven floors in my home, the dribble-dick water pressure in my shower, or the neverending cat-ass odor in my kitchen. I will do my best to not let Americanized Body Odor get the best of me, and enjoy traffic lights (atleast we have 'em), the Department of Motor Vehicles (imagine me getting a new Visa in China's version of the DMV), and bad U.S. television. (Nothing worse than not having a clue about the language.)
Can't wait to sit in traffic on the glorious Eden's Expressway bright and early tomorrow. Sweet Home Chicago!
3 comments:
Welcome home.
Chicago is great. We know because we have lived there for 50+ years.
Wow - I'm tired just reading about your trip! That was a really good (and hilarious) bit of writing. You should be a travel writer a la Tim Cahill or Bill Bryson. Then you can travel around the world ALL THE TIME!
The quote of the year so far has to be "...but I get a good case of the gags when I'm staring down at someone else's a**batter" from "Flying is Fun". That line pretty well sums it up.
Wow. Thanks! I owe it all to Justin and Mike...
And to think, it's only June! I'm going to work really hard to see if I can do better.
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