On Barbaro:
Let's do surgery. We must save this horse. I can't imagine life without Barbaro. What would we do without another horse forced to run in televised races sponsored by Miller Lite, Comcast, and Aquafina. Too bad they can't sponsor a few thousand acres in Montana to let these horses run free. Until then, let's 'salvage' Barbaro as a breeding stud. As you'll see, he's even been eyein' a few hottie-nurse-mares for the past 36 hours. John Stossil could host a primetime breeding event. Now that would be hot.
On Bonds:
Who cares. Unless of course, The Babe cheated too. If you could prove Babe Ruth used steroids, that would be a story. Until then, who the f*** cares about Bonds.
On Babies:
We're doing just fine. Momma is getting big, Leon is getting Larger, and Daddy got new grown-up glasses. August is fast approaching!
On Bing-Bong:
We watched "Kicking & Screaming" last night with Will Ferrell and Da Coach. A cute movie, not very well done, but a few really funny moments. That's all I expected, and all I needed. (Bing-Bong is the name of the Asian adopted son of a lesbian couple. His name is Byong Sun, but Da Coach signs an autograph to 'Bing-Bong'...)
31 comments:
note: our son is not, in fact, going to be named leon.
for those who do not remember the movie airplane, here is the sound clip that spawned that allusion. it was spoken by the flamboyant air traffic control guy.
http://www.rosswalker.co.uk/movie_sounds/sounds_files_20060519_3205813/airplane/leon.wav
#1 - Barbaro - It makes me sick to think about what they do to these babies. They are fine boned equine greyhounds, horses son't usually mature and gain their full size until they are about 5 and at the age of 2-3, they are made to pound those incomplete legs hard into the ground. This horse has not been gelded (neutered) and probably comes from a highstakes bloodline, so they are salvaging him. If he was a gelding they would have shot him on the track.
#2 - Bonds - Babe Ruth was a phenomenon even though he was a drunk. We wonder how amazing he really could be if he took care of himself. Bonds is a juicer. We wonder how mediocre he really is without the juice.
Not in the same league.
#3 - On babies. Isn't it wonderful? BTW - his name better not be Leon.
#4 - Bing Bond hmmm..
Paula has decided his name will be Luther. So that's what we're going with. Me, I'm partial to Luscious.
how bout Noah...considering the weaher...Noah Andrew Hess....Nah....
Exactly... Nah! As in, no thanks!
btw - weaher?
Dad, I think you should use more dots... Three... Four.... Sometimes even two.. Whatever it takes... It looks kinda funny.... when.. you... type this way...
I feel like I'm reading you falling in and out of sleep.
I'd also like to go on record right here that I just made a funny.
You guys are all nuts. We liked that movie too. Saw it with the kids. They didn't really like it/get it, but E and I chuckled a bit. Bing-Bong was the best part. Why not little Luther Bing-Bong Hess?
L.
maybe anyong bing-bong hess. i am still pining for my long lost arrested development.
"this isn't angry - this is happy... yea!" my god, will farrell: you are brilliant.
I think I'm going to see if a large corporation won't pay us to name our boy after them. Everyone will be required to say his full name each time they address him. We'll get royalties, and a one time 'signing' fee. Here's my quick list:
Pepsi Hess
Luther Hess, brought to you by Comcast
Sammy Hess - built Ford tough
Markus Mountain Dew Hess
Freddie Hess. Fair and Balanced.
William Hess. You've got questions, he's got answers.
Fcuk Hess.
Eeaye Hess. He's in the game.
Phillip Morris Hess. Doctors recommend.
Dodge Hess. Grab life by the horns.
and so on...
I like the name Ian. It doesn't start with an L, but hey. Cool kid, cool name. Just don't name him Pilot Inspektor.
My favorite part of K&S was during the backyard camping scene, when Will Farrell announced that if the pizza delivery were to go awry they would still survive b/c they could eat Beyon-Sun. Hilarious scene, esp. when you see the teeny little Asian boy backing his camping stool away from the fire.
i object to ian because you never know whether to call them eee-an or eye-an. also, all ians i've ever known were petulant and cryptic. lastly, there's just a lotta ians running around already, being cryptic and petulant.
How about Walter?
As long as it's Walter E. Smithe You Dream it We Build It Hess (that's Smithe with an E!), then I'm good. Let's run with it.
I also Golden Palace Dot Com Hess, or perhaps tattooing him at a very young age to resemble the Nascar look. We could probably get a bunch of sponsors that way. I bet my boy could net us enough to retire with if we put UPS across his back. Or Budweiser.
Just don't name him Gavin. I know 7 Gavins at the moment. Last year, I didn't know any. It's overused.
I say, name him "Google" and you're set for life. Either that or, "Tofurky". Yes, little Toturky Hess. I like it. We can call him Turk for short.
L.
Or "Furk" if you would like to go without the typo.
L.
I worked for a tech writer who's name was Ronald MacDonald. Luckily he did not have red hair and freckles.
He had all of his birthday's when he was young at Burger King.
you can rest assured there will be no gavins in our future. not that it's not a terrific name -- we're just shying away from anything that might relegate him to "firstname h." status.
That's why I like Cyrano, Mcquade, and Milky Way as first names.
I hate to inject some normalcy here, but maybe a name like Adam, Andrew, Luke, Matthew, you know, just nice biblical names, that a child won't be embarassed to have and we (being the rest of the universe) might enjoy using. He will be a beautiful child, therefore he should have a beautiful name!
Good idea.
Take your pick:
God Hess
Jesus Hess (pronounced 'Hey-soos')
Budda Hess
Bhagavan Hess
Sobek Hess (crocodile god.)
Apollo Hess
Hades Hess
Tooth Fairy Hess
What about Vitorio Riccardo Hess. It just the reverse of Vaughn Michael Rizzi.
I agree with your mom, of course, I personally think that Matthew is a good name. It shortens to Matt, Matt Hess, sounds very strong and straight forward.
...or Matt Ress Hess! That a real sleeper... .. .
HaHa you are sooooo funny!
no, no, no, no biblical names. no vanilla names. no plain names. sorry, folks. come on, mothers -- you have to take into account the parents actually bringing the child into the world. honestly, do we seem like we'd name our kid a biblical name? a trendy, "normal" name? not that there's anything wrong with them, but you have to consider the source.
maybe if our last name was czyprzblylski or sloppypappadopoulos. with hess, we gotta reach a little.
it will be a beautiful name, and a slightly more unique, unusual name for our beautiful, slightly unique, and unusual boy!
in the end, remember: you had the chance to name your little bundles of joy 30 odd years back. it's our turn to name our boy ahmedinejad orangello if we wanna. ;)
p.s. if you don't enjoy the name, you can always call him "baby boy" instead of little murgatroy o'shaughnessy hess. seems to work for nonna rizzi! ;)
I say, no matter what anyone actually thinks of the name when we finally know what it is, everyone just nods and says they love it. After-all, we will all love the baby. So, we will learn to love Murgatroy.
L.
His in-laws will likely end up calling him M. anyway.
That means any name with E or L is out then, right? Since you've both stolen those letters.
Did you know that Shirley and Ashley started out as boy's names? Just don't call him a piece of fruit or a vegatable. ...or a geographic feature (River, Mountain, Valley).
I suppose, though, you can call him whatever you want. We all will think of something that will work for us. Look at Tracy's little Boo!
I'm sure you're both LOVING all the advice on names. I didn't know there was a voting poll!! Can I vote? I'd like a name that sounds good when said in an indian accent. what's the male equivalent of jasmeet?
Jess - I was actually thinking of posting a '5 favorite baby boy names', just to get some ideas and input, but instead my last post has been hijacked into baby naming... so be it.
i'll combine yours with diane's suggestion and maybe end up with something like:
celereet hess
brocoleet hess
skyganesh hess
volcanapu hess
potatopoo hess
tomateet hess
I'm going to call your kid my own made-up name anyway, like I call David "D.T.," or the neighbor kid Gavin "G. Money."
Like W., I will nickname him instantly. You can't stop me.
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