Friday, July 28, 2006

The Boob Police

People have simply lost their minds. I'm not sorry if I offend anyone when I say that women should be able to breastfeed their babies anywhere they want to. My wife has the breast pump greased and well oiled as we wait for our first, and provided he'll take a tit, we're in the boob business.

I expect to feed our baby whenever and whereever we need to. I'm not dying to whip out a tit so we can get our kicks, but if it's feeding time and junior needs to eat, well then... (t)it's on!

I don't understand it. Just don't get it. It's the most natural thing in the world. Babies need food. Boobs make baby food. Period. Surely my wife's not planning on taking her top off and doing a lap dance before she feeds, or doing the double-boobed face mush either. She won't have Janet's pasties on, and likely won't be whipping a tit out of anything lace or fishnet. It's purely business. Just like pressing the diet coke button at Mickey-D's.

So if you see us 'out there' with kid, and your own guilt, shame, or fill-in-the-blank childhood experience overcomes you, or makes you hit the panic button, then run. Run for your nearest Psychiatrist. This is precisely why they drive nice cars. We all have issues, and we need to work them out, just as much as we need to do laundry. The next time you're offended by the boob, check yourself. Before you attack others, really try and think if it's more something about you.

All we want to do is feed babies. Is that really so bad?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Breastfeeding one's baby is always first choice, and it should be comfortable to do whenever it is necessary. However, I do believe there is a way to do it modestly in public so that you and your baby can enjoy the special time and you are not something to be ogled by curious onlookers. It is very easy to simply put a blanket across your boob while you are nursing in public.